forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
