Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
