just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
