so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
