I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
