If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Even my vagina gasped.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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