Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
