Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
