I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
