I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
