next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
