you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
