HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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