white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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