Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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