I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
