i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
