the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize