Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
