Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
