I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
