Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
