Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
