I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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