Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
