R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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