If i come over, it means nothing
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
