I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
