Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
