Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
