FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am midnight drunk by noon
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
