I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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