I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
