Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize