i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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