i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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