i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
