I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize