Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
no you cant smoke seaweed
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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