stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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