woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
