My hand turned me down
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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