i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
