i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
