i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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