meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Even my vagina gasped.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize