More tranny stories later!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
