so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
