Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
