Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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