Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
