I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
