She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
