...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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