ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
