he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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