To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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