And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
