I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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