let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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