I'm lost and stupid without you.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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