You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
