And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
