I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
