So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
