Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
