white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
