I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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