what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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